Let’s tell the truth we usually whisper: the holiday season can mess with your mental health. While the world is blasting carols and demanding cheer, many people are quietly battling depression, anxiety, grief, exhaustion, and sensory overload. If that’s you, congratulations—you’re human, not broken. As a psychologist, I see this every year. Like clockwork. And no, more twinkle lights won’t fix it.
When the Holidays Trigger Depression and Anxiety
The holiday season is supposed to feel warm and joyful.
For many people, it doesn’t. Instead, it brings sadness, anxiety, exhaustion, and emotional overload. This can feel confusing. After all, this is the time we are told we should be happy. When that happiness doesn’t show up, shame often follows. As a psychologist, I see this pattern every year. The holidays don’t create mental health struggles out of nowhere. They amplify what is already there.
Why the Holidays Feel So Heavy
The pressure starts early. Expectations are everywhere. Be cheerful. Be grateful. Be social. Be present. Keep it together. For many people, real life doesn’t cooperate. When expectations clash with reality, distress grows. Not because you’re weak. Because you’re human. Family gatherings add another layer. Old roles resurface quickly. You may feel like the caretaker again. Or the peacemaker. Or the one who never quite gets it right. Even a short visit can reopen old emotional wounds. Then there is grief. The holidays highlight who is missing. Traditions remind us of what has changed. The absence of a loved one can feel louder than the celebration itself. On top of that, the nervous system gets overwhelmed. Crowds. Noise. Spending. Planning. Little rest. Over time, the body stays in survival mode. Anxiety rises. Sleep suffers. Patience disappears.
What Holiday Depression Often Looks Like
Depression during the holidays is not always obvious. It doesn’t always look like crying. More often, it looks like this:
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Emotional numbness
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Irritability
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Low energy
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Pulling away from others
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Going through the motions without joy
Many people tell themselves they should be fine. They’re not. And they feel guilty about it. That guilt only deepens the depression.
How Anxiety Shows Up This Time of Year
Anxiety loves busy seasons. The holidays are full of deadlines and expectations.
Thoughts speed up. The body feels tense. Sleep becomes light or broken. There is a constant urge to manage everything and everyone. People-pleasing kicks in. Exhaustion follows.
Anxiety often says, If I don’t stay on top of this, everything will fall apart.
That belief keeps the nervous system stuck in overdrive.
What Actually Helps
Lowering the bar helps. On purpose. You don’t need a perfect holiday. You need a manageable one. Rest helps too, quiet time, short walks, fewer obligations. The nervous system needs recovery, not more stimulation. Boundaries matter and you are allowed to say no. You are allowed to leave early, you are allowed to skip events. Protecting your mental health is not rude. Naming what you feel also helps. Saying “this season is hard for me” reduces shame. Silence makes distress heavier. Words make it lighter and professional support is necessary. Therapy during the holidays is not a last resort, it is rather preventative care.
When to Reach Out for More Help
If sadness, anxiety, or numbness persist.
If panic increases.
If you feel disconnected from yourself or others.
If thoughts of disappearing or harming yourself appear. Please reach out. To a therapist. To a trusted person. To a crisis line. Support matters, especially during this season.
A Final Thought
The holidays do not measure your success or worth. They reveal your limits. Your history. Your nervous system. You are allowed to have a quiet holiday. A simplified holiday. A boundary-filled holiday. If all you do this season is take care of yourself a little better than last year, that counts. That is progress. That is growth. And you don’t have to do it alone. We are her for you